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Name: kesha
Gender: Female
Hometown: Michigan
Home country: Canada
Current location: USA
Member since: Fri Sep 17, 2004, 11:57 AM
Number of posts: 16,903

Journal Archives

Being divorced and having moved so far away from family and friends I find

myself in this predicament far too often.

Another (former)relative has passed away. My 1st husband's Uncle. He was such a wonderful hard working family loving man.
A pig farmer, father of 3 strapping young men, devoted and loyal husband, terrific friend and Uncle to all he knew.
Frank understood me. He listened to me when I needed an ear not a judge. He loved me unconditionally and accepted me into the huge family that was my husband's.

All that changes somewhat when divorce happens. I no longer am a part of that loving family. Some were so judgemental (bible thumpin' christians). Some just totally disowned me for divorcing.

Uncle Frank I will miss you always. You loved me, you listened, you laughed and I know I saw a tear once in a while. You were a great Father to your sons and a most wonderful Husband to your wife of nearly 60 years.
I am thankful that you didn't suffer a long and painful passing.
I wish I could attend your funeral because I would be there.
I'll mourn in my own way and celebrate the man I knew in my heart to be one of the best ever put on this earth.
I'm too ill to drive anywhere and it's a 6.5 hour drive. My driving privileges have been restricted temporarily due to illness and honestly I just couldn't do it.
I'll send a card with a note, make a donation to a charity of the family's choosing.

Rest in sweet peace dear Uncle Frank.
Thank you for saving my life more than once. I have the strength to go on when I remember your words to me in my times of distress.

I am going to miss you. It's different now. Before, I knew you were there even if you were far away, now I know you're gone. My world is different.

Y'think maybe he and my former father-in-law might be fishing in that big stream and catching some really big ones? I'd like to think so.

Back to bed I go .. perchance to dream of a Man I was so blessed to love and be loved by.

good night friends.


And so this is Christmas -

First of all I really need to apologize to each and all of you for my absence from the group. I have been very ill these last few months and between hospital stays, Dr visits and home nursing care I've just not had a lot of energy to post.
I have been reading the group though and I want you all to know that there isn't a day goes by that I don't think of you all and pray for peace for all of us.
Christmas can be so hard, can't it?
My sincere wish is that today, as all days you take a few moments to reflect on all that is good in your lives, the memories, the joyous times you had with loved ones gone.
Let the joy and the grief soothe your soul. Reach out if the pain is unbearable. Reach out if the joy overflows and you have some to spare.

Thank you all for looking after each other this past year. Welcome to the newest of us here.
You've found a place with people who have traveled a similar path, a group no one really wants to join. But, here we are.
Merry Christmas friends.
All my love to each of you.


I will vote in the next election now that it's legal ! ! !

Yesterday, November 21st, I was sworn in as an American Citizen!!!!!

yay me.

Another 'thing' to thank Canada for eh?

Just thought you'd like to know.

I've been quite ill lately and hopefully on a learning road to recovery but this was one thing I wasn't going to postpone.


So, you say I took the easy way out. A surgeon's perspective on Bariatric Surgery.


Let's discuss ...

Obesity has genetic components, well documented in the medical literature. There are socio-economic factors involved. Many of our patients have an abuse history, and sub-consciously shroud themselves from unwanted physical attention through their weight; hence, obesity has a psychological component. There are numerous metabolic issues at play, such as diabetes, hypo-thyroid issues, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, and leptin insensitivity.

Now consider the thought process involved in undergoing surgery. Patients need to admit to themselves and their families that they have a disease that is so profound that they need to see a doctor to treat it. Then they have to see a mental health provider, to evaluate them for untreated mental illness and coping skills. Next they have to see a dietitian, and may need to undergo 6 months of medically supervised weight loss, depending on their insurance. Then they have to have a major surgical procedure. Granted, itís typically performed laparoscopically, but they still need to undergo general anesthesia, and have someone operate on them in order to help fight this disease. They may incur significant expense, loss of time from work, and/or time away from school. Finally, they have to take vitamins for the rest of their lives, and they have to follow up with a mean surgeon (me) forever!

Does that sound like the easy way out? How do I explain to a woman at a party that, without surgical intervention, only 30% of my patients would live to see their 65th birthday? How do I explain the humiliation involved in asking for a seat belt extender on an airplane? To not be able to go to a movie, or an amusement park. To have to have a family member do your toilet care because you simply cannot reach? To not be able to run after your child when he or she is in danger? To have people judge you as lazy and slovenly before even shaking your hand? To be discriminated against when applying for a job, just because of the way you look?

Obese people are the last population that folks think of as socially acceptable to ridicule. Yet, over 30% of Americans are considered overweight. While Iím thrilled that the AMA has declared obesity a disease, how long until the rest of society recognizes that ruling and stops discriminating?

I didn't see it. But I'd like to address the types of surgery (wish I'd seen the episode)

If she indeed had a lap band, the stomach is NOT made smaller. A band is placed around the opening to the stomach and is restricted by injecting saline into the band, likewise the restriction can be lessened by removing or suctioning out the saline from the band.
Many people I know (yes many) have had no good luck at all with the lap band because they weren't disciplined and their doctors allowed them to have adjustments whenever they wanted to 'feast' ie: go to a wedding or a banquet, they could eat till their hearts content and then restrict intake at a later time.
The Gastric Bypass operation, also known as the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, is one of the most commonly performed weight loss surgical procedures. It involves creating a very small 2-3 ounce gastric pouch and connecting it to a limb of small bowel. The reduction in the size of the stomach is the most significant of all weight loss surgical procedures. It is, however, important to note that the smaller stomach pouch does not function in the same manner as the original intact stomach. When you compare the stomach of the Sleeve Gastrectomy or the Duodenal Switch operation, their function and physiology is very similar to the normal anatomy. This is, however, not the case in the Gastric Bypass operation. The remnant stomach that connects to the small bowel does not, physiologically or mechanically, function the same as a normal intact stomach. This ultimately results in a number of complications that are unique to the gastric bypass operation. Complications include marginal ulcers, dumping syndrome, stricture at the site of the gastrojejunostomy anastomosis (where the stomach is attached to the small bowel), and nutritional deficiencies including iron and B12.
Even though the short-term results of the gastric bypass operation may be acceptable when measured by excess weight loss, the outcome of its long-term maintained weight loss, along with the associated complications of the surgery, make it a procedure that a lot of surgeons no longer recommend.
The Biliopancreatic Diversion with a Duodenal Switch is a hybrid surgical procedure that has two aspects that reduce weight.

The smaller stomach size limits the amount of food that can be taken in to about 120-150cc (1/2-3/4 Cup).

The small bowel is reattached in such a fashion as to keep the biliopancreatic juices away from the food until the last portion of the small bowel, limiting the absorption of the food that is eaten. The stomach is decreased in size by doing a Sleeve Gastrectomy, which uses proportional amounts of the stomach areas that make important enzymes and chemicals. The hallmark of the Duodenal Switch operation is the preservation of the pyloric valve. The pyloric valve is at the last portion of the stomach and acts as a gateway to the small bowel. The food needs to be of the right chemical and mechanical consistency before the pyloric valve allows it to progress into the small bowel. The appendix and the gallbladder are also removed.

Duodenal switch provides the best remedy for failed gastric bypass.

When necessary, the revision or reversal of the Duodenal Switch operation is technically the safest and easiest of all revisional surgical procedures.

Well dear friends, it's that time of year again. Where did the months go?

I want you all to know just how much your openness and caring has meant to me. Your willingness to share and pour out your hearts has always amazed me.

I'm so glad we have this tiny spot on the internet to console, commiserate, love and help each other along.

As the season is in full swing, may you all find some comfort in the joys you shared with those you grieve.

May your hearts be full of love and remembrance for the loved ones no longer with you.

Most of all, may you feel some sort of healing in whatever form that takes for you specifically.

To those of you who read and don't post it's ok. If and when you EVER need us, we're here.

I truly have fond affection for each of you.

May the coming year find you all healthy and prosperous.

Know that I (and many others) care for you.

with love and deepest respect.


Summer's gone and Autumn has arrived and along with that a great longing ...

I don't know what it is about this time of year. I really do love the cooler weather, the changing colours the smell of the air.

It's also the time of year (can't figure out why though) that I miss my Mum the most. There's so much I miss, to many things to list.

How about you all?

How are you doing?

I think of you guys and gals all the time and I'm privileged to even correspond with a couple of you apart from DU.

Check in ok?


I'd like to extend a warm welcome to all of the NEW people who have been participating

in our group lately.

It's nice to have you here.

(some have shown up and been PPRd but a few have been genuine and stayed)

I look forward to reading more from each of you.

all the best in 2013


your co- host with NRaleighLiberal

AlienGirl: A message from her family. Important to read.

I have been ill and away for a few days and received this message. I was asked to post here on DU so that everyone who is familiar with AlienGirl is aware of what is going on.

Here's the message I received

I think it would be a good idea to let people on DU know what is going on with that event in Clearwater that is in Shelly's name. Maybe people here can help to straighten things out. It would mean a lot for her family, and frankly, if it is DUers speaking out, it will cancel out any kind of impression that people are opposing the event because it is a Democratic related event and not because it is just plain wrong for someone who treated Shelly so poorly to be organizing anything.

This is the article:


Many of my friends here are also family and friends of Shelly Leonard. Please take a moment to look at this article, and to leave a comment in its comments section. Please also consider calling the journalist, Mike Brassfield, whose number is at the bottom of the article. PLEASE read this entire comment first, though. It's long, but it will give you context.

The writer of this article was given incorrect information, and passed that information on. He does not have Nathan's birthday right. He does not have the state where Nathan and Quinn live right. He seems to have taken only Van Farber's word for everything.

Van Farber was once a friend of Shelly's, but ceased to be a friend to her in July of 2011 for reasons that are private and personal. She did not want to speak to him or see him. Mr. Farber did not honor her wishes then. He refused to accept that she did not want anything to do with him any more. He harassed my family on the phone and in person. Because of Mr. Farber, Shelly had to be a confidential patient wherever she was. Yet, he has the audacity not only to speak for her, but also to organize this fundraising event without attempting to consult with Shelly's family or close friends.

Please do not misunderstand. The cause is worthy and one that Shelly supported. The event is not. The venue is not. Mr. Farber is most certainly not, and ought not be allowed to speak for Shelly or to take political advantage of her life or her death.

**AlienGirl Update 12/13/11**

As I posted last night, AlienGirl is scheduled for 4 more rounds of chemotherapy and is resting as much as she can in preparation for this and to try to regain some strength. She's trying to keep her weight up too.

I got this message from her caregiver and I'm posting this here with permission.

"Knowing that there are people out there who care means a lot. Somebody who's in her situation often wonders what they did that ever affected anybody's life, and how the world is different for them being in it. That there are so many people who know her through DU, who care how she is doing and who are looking forward to having her back is evidence that she has made a mark on the world and on the lives of others. It's evidence of that meaning that people look for to give them peace and to give them courage."

I'll post as I get updates.

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